


Pull You Forward

by ShesJustLikeAMaze



Series: Pull You Through [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-13 03:39:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShesJustLikeAMaze/pseuds/ShesJustLikeAMaze
Summary: This is a multi-chapter spin-off that is part of my other fic 'Pull You Through'. It does make sense on it's own but this one focuses more on Patrick Moir and Meryt Alder, my next generation characters. Tessa and Scott will still be a huge part but it's through the eyes of the children.When small 9 year old Meryt Alder's life gets turned upside down the day her father died things only get worst when her mom makes an erratic decision to move across the country with only the things that will fit in their small hatchback. Meryt knows exactly who Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue are from watching their 2018 Olympic skates on re-run but when Scott invites her to work with him and Tessa and their son Patrick, her world is evolving once again. Will Meryt and Patrick repeat Tessa and Scott's history or will they flop?





	1. One

Pull You Forward

 

  1. February 2026- Vancouver- Emma



 

Throughout my 33 years of life I have experienced a lot of things. As a Biological Anthropologist whose job involves studying people, a lot of those experiences have been morbid and sad. A child with Hutchinson's incisors from suffering from congenital syphilis; no problem. Trephined skulls and knife marks in a sternum; it's the career path I chose. Working with nutritional inequities in Aboriginal communities; enlightening yet disgusting. I could handle just about anything.

 

The one thing I couldn't handle was when the officer knocked on my door, removed his hat and cried into my chest. At first I didn't understand why my husband's best friend and partner Matt was breaking down on my doorstep.

 

“Matt? If you're looking for Connor he's already left- Matt? What's going on? Are you alright?” I asked, the situation finally dawning on me.

“I'm so sorry Emma. There has been an accident…” Matt suffered through tears. The 39 year old hulk of a man whimpered sending cold shocks down my spine. “Connor didn't make it.”

“No! No,No,No,No.” I could feel my knees legs struggling to hold me up.

“Mommy?” I heard a tiny voice squeak from behind Matt.

 

That was the experience I didn't think I could live through. The look on my 8 year old daughters face. Her wild red hair pulled into pigtails, clutching onto her ballerina pink backpack. Her brown eyes darkening almost to black as she realized what was going on in front of her. Meryt was a strong girl. Of course she was, I am her mother and Conner was her father. That girl is an Alder through and through but nothing can prepare anyone for a loss like this. Not even a biological anthropologist. I heard the scream/sob combination escape my lips and I rushed to my daughter's side, dropping to my knees holding her to my heart. Meryt was so still I had to check to make sure she was still breathing. This is how Meryt dealt with things, she would hold pain inside herself, trying to find reasons to justify and make sense of what was happening. When she couldn't hold on any longer she would explode in uncontrollable sobs. I was waiting, and waiting, and waiting. It wasn't until bedtime that night that she started crying and couldn't stop until her body shut itself down forcing her to sleep.

 

It was only yesterday we were watching Canadian Ice Dancers Naomi Lavallee and Dean Foster win bronze at the Olympics. Connor cuddling into Meryt as her eyes were fixed on the TV. Her daddy whispering into her ear, “That's going to be you one day dear, my golden girl on the Olympic Podium.” Meryt looked up at her daddy with the biggest smile I have ever seen, “Except I'm going to win!” Meryt said in a cheeky tone. Through all the bullying she endured from kids who pulled at her hair, making fun of her height or poking fun of her eyes that were too big for her little face; Meryt never stopped focusing on her skating. It was that grit that impressed Connor the most. He was so proud of his daughter and so was I.

 

2) London- August 2027- Meryt

 

My mom and I have been driving for days now. She took a job at Western University in Ontario just last week and within days we packed up only our most essential belongings, crammed them into the back of my mom's car and didn't look back. We left my school, my home, my skating club and the one friend that took me years to get. The one friend who loved the ice as much as I did. When my mom and I were packing up our home we left behind everything that reminded her of my dad. His hockey stick, his book collection, his police hat, his wedding ring. She left it all, so when it came time where I was deciding whether or not to bring the wonderful Edea skates he bought me for my birthday, I threw them in the trash. I was so, so mad. If it wasn't enough for my entire world to be turned upside down, now my mother expected me to fill a single suitcase with my memories and be on my way. To our new life. In a new home. In a new city. In a new province. I hated it all, and it was all my her fault. I was only 9, I had no choice but to oblige.

 

“We are almost there!” My mom reached behind her into the backseat to grab my hand. I was more perceptive than she gave me credit for. Her fake excitement wouldn't' go unnoticed.

“Meryt, when are you going to start talking to me again?” My mom patted my lap until she found my hand. I held her hand and gently pulled off her wedding band, sliding it down her cold finger.

“Honey?” She looked over her shoulder to see me holding her ring in my small palm.

“What? You didn't seem to want anything else that reminded you of him.” I said, flinching knowing she was going to get mad. She didn't.

“This isn't easy for me either. I know you lost your dad, and I am sorry but this is not my fault. I lost my husband Meryt. I lost my partner. I lost half of my financial support, I wanted to give you the entire world on a silver platter but unfortunately without your dad's income I couldn't swing it. Do you know how expensive it is to live in Vancouver, Meryt? Do you have $2000 every month to spare just for a roof over your head? Do you have $200 every week for groceries, do you have $50 every week for gas? Do you have $300 to keep you in ballet and skating? Life is expensive kid. I am only trying to give you your best chance. Why do you blame me for trying?” My mom said in a steady voice but I could see her in the rearview mirror and her eyes were filled with tears.

“I don't blame you for daddy! I blame you for making me leave everything. I didn't even get to say goodbye.” I felt my lip quivering. Now she was mad.

“It is painful! It's been a year and everywhere I look I feel the sinking loss. You have never loved anyone but when you do you'll know what I feel Meryt. I can't breathe without him. I didn’t choose this, I’m not leaving him. He’s not coming back and it’s impossible for me to continue living when I’m surrounded by him but don’t actually have him.” My mom sobbed.

“I do know what it feels like!” I screamed feeling my chest heave. “I left skating! I loved skating, I loved my coach, I loved my club.”

“Yeah, and you left your skates behind, hardly baring to put them on...Tell me how that is different.” My mom's voice got dangerously low.

“Oh.” is all I could muster.

“Yes. Oh is right. Now can you stop being mad at me? We need each other. I need my little girl.” My mom's voice shook.

“Okay mom, I’m sorry.” I turned her ring over in my hand, I reached my hand between the console and placed it in her palm.

“We’re here, this is it.” She said pulling into the driveway of a small two story brick house. It was way bigger than our rental in Vancouver, a 2 bedroom condo in a dodgy part of the city. This one had a yard, three bedrooms and a kitchen with everything my mom always bugged my dad that we didn't have. Maybe we could be happy here.

 

…

 

We had been moved into our new house for a week now and between furniture shopping, unpacking and trips to the University we were both exhausted. I still wasn't registered for school, I was hoping mom would forget so I didn't have to endure the bullying all over again. Sure, I had just about every recessive gene but was that reason enough to call me a freak? My mom was putting the finishing touches on dinner and wiping her forehead on a cloth. Summer in Ontario is wicked hot. There is no cool breeze from the Pacific Ocean keeping us cool.

“Days like these I really miss going to the rink.” My mom placed a plate in front of me.

“I do too.” I said sadly. 

“Do you think you might like to join a club here?” She asked sitting across from me at our kitchen table.

“I don't know,” I looked out the window.

“Is it because you don't want to...or because you left your skates at home?” She asked softly.

“My Edeas.” I sighed, wishing I wasn't so stupid.

“No matter, we can buy new ones...If of course you do want to keep skating.” My mom looked at me with her big grey eyes. The ones that already knew what I was thinking. In the 9 years I've been alive my mom has never not been able to read me like a book. 

“Yes. Thank-you.” I said reaching my hand across the table.

“You're welcome.” She placed her hand over mine. “And Meryt, I love you.”

“I love you too mommy.” I said, feeling both sad and happy at the same time.

 

…

 

When we got to the ‘Moir Skate Shop’ I felt my face redden. I grew up watching reruns of Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue's Olympic skates even if their career ended before I was born. My mom was a big fan of theirs and even managed to get my dad to take a liking to them. It was Tessa who made me originally want to start skating at 5 years old. I wanted to be just like her. As soon as we walked into the door and Scott Moir was at the counter I felt my blush deepen. My mom was clearly also stunned because she collapsed taking a shelf with her and was giggling like a schoolgirl. If I didn't have my mother's face you wouldn't know I was her daughter. She is bubbly and extroverted and I'm collected and introverted. I got that from my dad too. He had the ability just to look at a person, wait them out and get them to confess everything. He understood a lot of things about kids that most parents don't. He always knew that I understood everything that I have been told so he never felt the need to sugar coat or filter anything. My mom was the same way. Anytime I had a question she would answer it honestly. I feel like I trust my mom completely. 

 

My mom chatted with Scott, telling him about our move to London. I was a little bit shocked at how kind he was to my mom and I. He was the world's most decorated male ice dancer and he was talking to us! My mom has this brilliant way about her where she can carry a conversation with just about anyone, about anything. I felt really shy when Scott directed the conversation to me, leading me to a bench where he started lacing skating boots on my feet.

“How often did you skate at home, honey?” he asked in a soft voice. His brown eyes sparkling.

“I skated three days a week after school.” I said, jamming my foot into another boot.

“That's quite the commitment for such a young girl. How old are you anyways?” He asked pulling a different pair of boots off the shelf.

“I'm 9.” I said in more of a squeak than anything. 

“Oh, I thought you were younger!” he smiled, “You're the same age as my son.”

“I get that a lot. People think I'm seven because I'm small for my age.” I looked down at the new skates, my face flush with embarrassment.

“Don't feel bad about that! You know, my partner Tessa used to feel the same way. She was always teased for being small, she was even still offered a kids menu when she was 15 years old. She grew eventually and she ended up winning 5 Olympic Gold Medals. There is nothing lacking about that woman. Size doesn't matter kiddo, passion does.” Scott smiled sweetly at my mom then to me.

“Really? She was small too?” I asked, my eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Oh Yeah! She was probably even smaller than you! I don't know how our son got so big.” He laughed.

“I was the only one in my age group who could do a Biellmann spin!” I said excitedly. 

“Wow! That's very talented. See, no lacking there.” Scott finished with my laces. “How do these ones feel?” 

“Good!” I said standing up and walking around, “I used to watch you in TV.” I said smiling at Scott who was looking at me in an endearing way.

“Did you? Maybe one day I'll be watching you on TV, too.” He said, I was sure his expression was serious.

“You Will.” I grinned at my mother, “I’m going to the Olympics one day. My daddy said so.” Scott laughed and my mom let out this laughing, choking sound. 

 

I took off the boots and my mom put them on the counter to purchase. Scott told her about a skating Carnival at his rink on the weekend and he invited us to join. I was so excited! Not only will I be on the ice again, I'll get to skate in his and Tessa’s arena.

 

3) Ilderton - August- 2027

 

When mom and dad made me come to the arena early before the Gala, I felt annoyed. They wanted me to skate with the tiny red headed girl who didn't talk to anybody during the try-outs. I think she thinks she's better than everyone because she can get deep into her edges and pull her leg straight behind her in a Biellmann like the teenagers. When I made a joke she just looked at me out of the corner of her eye, her back so straight I was sure she was a wooden doll. There was something about Meryt that intimidated me and made me feel serious. I don't know if it was the golden specks in her dark brown eyes, her red hair that danced down her back in two tight braids or her rosy cheeks and full eyelashes. She was actually really pretty, but I'd never tell her that. I watched from the bleachers as my mom sent this teenager named Kiera off the ice. Her long blonde ponytail swinging aggressively behind her as she huffed. Most of the older students were nice to me, I was the youngest skater and I knew I was only actually there because my parents owned the place, not because I was good. It was a lot of pressure being the child of the most decorated ice dancers in the world. Even though my mum always said I’m my own person, I still feel like people expect something out of me. They expect me to be great, to live up to my dad and his amazing balance and partnering skills. Skating with Meryt, the tiny spitfire of a skater will only make me feel even more pressure to own up. Once Kiera was off the ice I moved into the center of the rink next to my dad. I saw Meryt walk through the door with a pink bag slung over her shoulder. She wasn't wearing her yellow skating dress. Instead she was wearing tights and a sweater and her red hair was cascading down her back in thick waves, trying to escape her ponytail. She laced up her skates and skated towards me.

“Hi, I'm Meryt.” She said stretching her hand towards me. I realized that this is the first time I heard her speak, her voice was sweet like honey. It was almost so sweet I was starting to change my mind about her being self absorbed. When I realized that her hand was still stretched out towards my tummy I felt my face burn hot with embarrassment. I took her hand and shook it looking towards my left hip so neither her nor my dad could see the redness in my cheeks.

“I’m Patrick.” I said, her hand was covered by a mitten but even still it made me nervous.

 

My dad instructed Meryt and I to try skating a simple circle in dance hold. He told us to expect our skates to touch, to expect our strides to be different, to expect that we might not be perfectly synchronized; But we were. The feeling of shortening my stroke ever so slightly while Meryt lengthened hers was a feeling my parents never described to me before. It felt like teamwork, it felt like responsibility, it felt fun. I know I’m just short of ten years old but I so badly wanted to be grown, I so badly wanted to be taken seriously and right now my parents still treat me like a baby. Holding Meryt, pulling her close when she got too far away, deepening my edge to match hers. It made me feel like I have been doing this forever. I wanted to know if Meryt felt the same. Even though we have now only been skating together for a ridiculous 10 minutes I wanted to make sure that I could continue to skate with her for a long, long time.

 

“Bring it in.” My dad called to us. I glanced out of the corner of my eye at Meryt and she was so focused. Her back straight and her jaw set. I turned her and we skated into center ice.

“How’d it feel?” My dad asked us.

“It felt great.” I said looking to Meryt for reassurance. I wanted so badly for her to have enjoyed our skate as much as I did.

“Yeah, I thought we did well together.” Meryt squeaked, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Meryt would you be interested in joining a training program where you and Patrick compete together?” My dad asked Meryt who was tugging at her ponytail to tighten it. Her hair was probably my favourite about her so far. I could hear the wind whistling through it as we skate.

“Should we unlace our skates and chat with your mother?” My dad asked, I reached for Meryt’s hand and laced my fingers between hers skating off the ice. She didn’t pull away which made me happy. I think Meryt was my girlfriend now, I would have to tell Naomi that we have to break up.

 

…

 

My dad and I had gone to the market to prepare for our Sunday movie night, it was extra special this week because Meryt was joining us. My dad let me pick out both the skittles and the Oreo’s which I knew would most likely be eaten by my mom anyways, she loved treats. We were setting down pillows in the living room when I heard the doorbell. Instead of running to the door I ran to the hallway, suddenly feeling really shy. I snuck in behind the wall and watched the door carefully. My mom opened it and let Meryt’s mom, Emma inside. Meryt was trailing behind her holding a small bag of gummy bears. She was definitely the prettiest girl I have ever seen, even if she was wearing Disney pajamas like a baby. I never really noticed how cool her hair was until it was down and cascading around her shoulders. She looked a lot like Merida from Brave. Her eyes were like a hidden treasure, they just looked brown until the light hit them sparkling little flecks of gold. I don’t know how long I had been staring for but Meryt was suddenly standing right infront of me, looking up at me with a curious expression on her face.

 

“Hi Meryt.” I said sheepishly.

“Hello Patrick.” She said lifting her chin confidently.

“I like your pajamas.” I lied.

“Thanks, my dad picked them out.” She touched the Pluto on her sleeve.

“Awesome…”I felt mildly cornered. I looked up and my dad rescued me.

“Who wants Pizza?” He called. Meryt obediently followed him into the kitchen sitting down and tucking a napkin on her lap. Does she do anything wrong?

 

My dad put a piece of pizza on our plates and then two on his own. We munched in comfortable silence. Everytime I looked across the table to Meryt she was looking at me like she was studying me. Maybe it was some weird technique her mom used as a anforlopethis or whatever she said she was. I was surprised when Meryt was the first to talk, usually being very shy.

 

“Thank-you for dinner Mr. Moir, it’s very good.” She squeaked.

“You’re welcome Meryt!” My dad smiled at her like she was the best thing since sliced bread, it made me kind of jealous.

“You have a funny name.” I said, intending for her to be offended.

“Patrick!” My dad scolded me.

“It’s okay, I do!” She smiled, I was annoyed that she didn’t give me the satisfaction of insulting her. “My parents named me Meryt after the first speculated female pharaoh of Egypt Meryt-Neith, the name means ‘Beloved by Neith’, who was an Egyptian goddess. My mom went to Egypt for an bioarchaeology field school when she was teaching in BC and my dad surprised her by flying out to Cairo where he proposed to her. When my mom was pregnant with me, even before she knew I was going to be a girl she called me her little princess, so the name just kind of fit.” Meryt beamed.

“That’s such a nice story.” My dad said softly, “Is your dad also an Anthropologist?”(That was the word I was trying to think of.)

“No, he’s a police officer.” Meryt’s face became unreadable. “He really liked history though, that’s how him and my mom met. She was doing work on a forensic case and he was the one of the officer in charge of the investigation. My mom found a preserved human foot with a tattoo on it and my dad said, ‘what is this? Otzi.’ And my mom said it was love at first laugh.”

“Wow!” My jaw dropped open, “That’s so creepy.”

“It’s a little bit hard to think about, my mom studying dead people.” Meryt shuddered.

“Do you want to be like her or your dad when you grow up?” I smiled at my dad, “I want to be just like my dad, I’m going to go to the Olympics.”

“No, I don’t want to be like them, I just want to skate. I’ll go to the Olympics too. We can go together!” Meryt said, all earlier resentment disappeared. Did she really plan to go to the Olympics? And with me? I felt my cheeks burning red.

 

…

 

The rest of the night was probably the most fun I have had since my birthday party. Meryt was surprisingly easy to talk to and liked my insect board game. She’s a girl so I didn’t expect her to like the hockey game on the nintendo Wii but she was really good, she almost beat me. I decided it would be fair if we played the dance game my mom likes so she could actually have a chance to give me a run for my money, and that she did. We were an hour in, sweating and giggling so hard we couldn’t breath. My dad was getting tired of hearing, ‘It’s raining men’ so he unplugged the game and put on a movie instead. Meryt has such a brilliant mind, I wonder if that’s a girl think because my mom’s is like that too. She figured out that if you take the oreo cookie apart, mush skittles and gummy bears into the icing before putting the cookie back together than we could make a fruity, gummy, oreo. I think this is officially my favourite food and I think Meryt is officially my favourite girlfriend. We watched ‘The Lion King’ in a huge pile of blankets. Meryt fell asleep halfway through, her long, dark eyelashes spread neatly on her rosy, freckled cheeks. I couldn’t help but stare at her. When Meryt is awake she is guarded, confident and smart. She has a way about her that makes her seem years above her age, because after all she is only 9, like me. I don’t know if it’s the way she talks like a grown up or the way she’s able to control her emotions and know when it’s okay to speak. Seeing her asleep is different. She’s small, her skin is the colour of cream and her freckles remind me of cinnamon sprinkled over the foamy chai drinks my mom likes. Her hair isn’t quite red but it’s not quite orange either. It almost has a golden shade to it..or like a chestnut horse. The curls in her hair are big, perfect corkscrews that wind their way down to the middle of her back. I wonder what it would look like to watch her skate from afar. I wonder if she will wear the same white dress my mom, my aunt and my grandma all wore to their first competition. I looked up at my dad on the couch, his head bobbing up and down as he balanced a bowl of ice cream on his tummy. I scooted closer to Meryt and rested my head next to hers, placing my hand lightly on her arm as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. I hope Meryt will be my best friend forever.

 


	2. Two

3) September 2027-Ilderton- Emma

I knew Meryt was going to fight me on her first day of school. To be fair, when I was her age I didn’t really care for school either. It wasn’t until my late teens that I really started to appreciate education. I knew it wasn’t about the material though. I would have to be foolish to think it was because she was intimidated by math or science, Meryt was extremely smart and she knew it. I knew she was worried about transitioning to another school. Meryt was years above her age and due to the fact, she did not relate nor make friends easily. Her last school was a lot larger than the school I signed her up for in Ilderton. I did this thinking it would ease the nerves, she would be in a class with Patrick, someone she was already friends with. Apparently that wasn’t enough, Meryt was angry and she blamed me.

“I will not ask you again, Meryt. Get out of bed!” I said from the foot of her bed playing tug-of-war with her duvet.  
“No! Stop!” She screamed, tears rolling down her cheeks.  
“Yes! Up! Now!” I hissed, I knew it wasn’t helpful to fight fire with fire but I was already running late for my lecture.  
“Okay, okay! Just please, go away. I’ll get ready. I promise.” I dropped her blanket and walked out of her room.  
“You have five minutes, timer starts now.” I said slamming her door. I went downstairs and pulled the toast out of the toaster, put my mug into the microwave for a fourth time and then put Meryt’s lunch box inside her backpack. I was in no way a ‘super mom’ like Tessa, but I tried my best. That is all I could do. Sometimes I fed Meryt a dry piece of toast for breakfast that she would have to eat in the car, sometimes I wouldn’t sweep the floors in the kitchen for over a week, sometimes I would buy pre-cooked food from the grocery store and set in on the table in my own dishware to make it feel like I did something right. Sure, I cut corners but I tried my hardest. I don’t know how Tessa does it. She shows up everywhere on time, her hair is always perfectly styled and her clothes are freshly pressed. Patrick’s lunches are perfectly balances; his sandwiches gourmet and cut in perfect squares. His apple slices never brown and his carrot sticks all the same length. She does all this and her home remains spotless, her meals always homemade and her family always happy. She makes me feel lacking. I looked at my watch and 5 minutes was up. Just as I started climbing the stairs Meryt came out of her bedroom dressed and ready. Her hair tucked up into a bun. I handed her her backpack and a piece of toast and we walked to the car in silence, she wouldn’t even look at me. I backed out of the driveway...And my coffee was still in the microwave.  
“How does Tim Horton’s sound?” I asked sheepishly, Meryt looking down at her burnt, dry toast.  
“Good idea.” She groaned.

We got Tim Hortons and I was done fighting with Meryt so I let her eat the double chocolate, sugary donut that Tessa wouldn’t dare letting Patrick eat for breakfast and I got a coffee. Meryt munched on her donut silently but when I looked at her in my rearview mirror I could see doubt, anxiety and sadness in her face.

“Mer, everything is going to be alright.” I said softly.  
“No it’s not!” She snapped, tears streaming down her face.  
“You’re just nervous because it’s new.” I tried to reassure her.  
“You don’t get it.” She said crossing her arms.  
“Yes I do! I was a kid once too.”  
“No. You don’t.” She sniffled, “You always worked my first day of school, dad always brought me! He was always the one to meet my teacher, to carry my backpack, to make me feel less nervous. You don’t know how to.”  
“Can you at least let me try?” I begged.  
“No! You can’t do anything right.” She snarled.  
“Meryt Scarlett Alder, you’re being rude!” I shouted.  
“I DON’T CARE!” She screamed back, “I HATE YOU!”  
“No you do not!” I felt tears spring to my eyes, “You don’t hate me, you’re just scared! Meryt sometimes we have to do things scared. I was terrified to be a single mom...You don’t see me giving up do you?” I hissed.  
“Sometimes…” Her shoulder sagged and tears rolled down her cheeks.  
“Sometimes what?” I parked in the school parking lot and turned to face her.  
“Sometimes I wish you were more like Tessa.” Meryt couldn’t meet my eye, “Patrick said she bought him new clothes for the first day of school...So he would make good first impressions. I’m wearing this stupid old sweater for a third day in a row because my clothes are all still in boxes.” Her voice was low and I could tell she felt guilty.  
“You can be really, really cruel sometimes. Do you know that?” I sighed, “I’m trying my best.”  
“I know.” She wiped her tears on her sleeve.  
“Come on honey, let’s go meet your teacher.” I said wiping away my own tears and walking Meryt up to her school like nothing was ever wrong. We are Alder’s. We are resilient.

 

We entered the school yard and I walked next to Meryt as we made our way to the West entrance where she was supposed to wait to be called in. Her curls were falling out of her bun and her backpack made her look like a small little turtle, I could hardly believe she was in grade 4. I looked around at her other classmates and their parents, we didn’t look out of place at all. I watched as Tessa approached with Patrick running up ahead of her. He was wearing a tidy button up and new shoes. His long, dark hair was gelled back, he styled it like his father usually does...Like a hockey player. Tessa was wearing cropped jeans and a silk blouse, she looked so polished and ready to tackle the day. I could see why Meryt wanted me to be more like her, I wanted to be more like her too.

“Emma Hi! How are you?” She asked scooting next to me. Patrick ran to one of his friends across the path.  
“Oh, I’m alright. We’re alright.” I said looking down at Meryt who looked up at me sadly.  
“Are you nervous for your first day?” Tessa asked Mer.  
“Yes. I have no friends.” Meryt said, her eyes moving to where Patrick was dribbling a soccer ball with a blonde boy.  
“Patrick is your friend!” She said kindly, “Hey Patty! Come say hi to Meryt.”

Patrick passed the ball back to his friend and jogged over to where we were standing. His cheeks were red from excursion and his green eyes looked light under the morning sun. Once he was next to Meryt I could really see how much taller he was than her. She was little but he was a full head above her, usually by this age the girls are taller than their male counter parts.  
“Do you remember what I told you your job is Patrick?” Tessa said sternly.  
“Yes I remember.” He kicked at the pavement, “I have to look out for Meryt.”  
“Mmhmm, she’s your teammate, you always have to look after her..On and off the ice.” Tessa patted his shoulder.  
“Want to come play soccer?” He asked her.  
“No.” Meryt said, her eyes wide.  
“Why not?” He grabbed her hand in his trying to pull her towards the other kids.  
“I don’t know how.” She pulled her hand away.  
“Mom!” Patrick groaned, “I’m trying.”  
“Why don’t you show Meryt where to line up? I’m sure your teacher will call you in shortly.” Tessa suggested. Patrick sighed and started walking to their line up, he kept checking to make sure Meryt was following him. As soon as they got to their line a man in his thirties came to the door, he was tall and handsome.  
“Fourth Grader’s for Mr.Poje’s class, please come on in.” He smiled, forming lines next to his mouth.

I watched as Meryt and Patrick entered their new class, along with the other students. I felt my body relax and I sighed a breath of relief. I got her to school, and actually in the building. I’d call that a win! I straightened out my knee length skirt, said good-bye to Tessa and ran back to my car, my heels clicking on the pavement. I felt like a mad woman pulling out of the parking lot and speeding through a school zone but I had a 10am class to get to at Western and the roads were busy. It only took me two stop lights before I checked myself. I need to be more careful, my wonderful husband died in a car crash and I can’t let my baby be an orphan, or god forbid, I hit someone else’s child. By the time I carefully drove into my parking stall at the University’s Environment department it was 10:08. I ran up the steps my leather tote swinging on my arm. I found my class and walked to the front of the lecture hall, sweat beads running down my now very red face. I scanned the room where nearly 150 blank stares watched me collect myself and calm my breathing. I plugged in my headset and opened my book ready to teach my first class of a new semester.  
“Hello everyone, My name is Emma Alder and I will be your professor for ‘Special Topics In Forensic Anthropology’ this semester. You will have a lecture on Mondays, as I see you’ve received the memo...And your tutorial will be either Wednesday or Thursday depending on which section you selected in your course registration. Are there any questions?”

As I settled into the lecture and went over the course syllabus I started to relax into my position. This is not the first time I have taught but this is the first time it has been in a class of over 75 students. I spoke to the class about the Anthropology, the importance of an Anthropological perspective in Forensics and the Osteological Paradox. Finally at 1pm I thanked my students and dismissed them from class. I started packing up my paperwork and a couple students stayed behind to ask course questions. I was chatting happily with a few second year keeners when my cell phone started ringing, I usually had it on silent but since Connor’s accident I never turn it off anymore. I apologized to this girl (Alice? Alisha? Allison?) and told her to email me her questions or visit my office hours. I answered my phone not recognizing the number.

“Ms. Alder, speaking.” I said professionally.  
“Hello Ms.Alder, this is Mr.Poje from Valleyview Elementary School. I’m here with your daughter Meryt, something happened and she’s hysterical. Could you please come pick her up?” The man said frantically, I could hear Meryt’s cries through the phone.  
“Did she fall? Was she on the playground? Was she bullied?” I panicked, my poor girl.  
“No, she was totally fine at lunch hour. The kids came back inside and I started handing out notices for our ‘Daddy and Me’ Picnic at the end of September and she just lost it.” He said softly.  
“I’m on my way.” I said hanging up and running back through the building and to my car.

I got to the school in 20 minutes and I pulled my now sweaty shoulder length hair up into a ponytail. I shed my cardigan and tried to tuck my blouse back into my skirt as I ran back across the school yard. I was a mess. My pantyhose were starting to run, my skirt was twisted and my heels now had mud on them from aerating the lawn. I went to the classroom and there was a different teacher standing in front of the class. She told me that Mr.Poje and Mary (Her name is fucking Meryt) were at the guidance counselor's office. I ran down yet another hallway and finally saw Meryt curled into a ball on a chair next to her teacher who looked flustered and worried. I ran over to my little girl kneeling on the floor in front of her and folding my arms around her.  
“I’m here sweety, it’s okay, I’m here.” I said in a soothing voice kissing the top of her head.  
“I..but..he..picnic...but...dad.” Meryt sobbed uncontrollably into my chest. I looked up at Mr. Poje who looked sick.  
“Meryt, take a deep breath and listen to me, okay?” I felt her nod into my chest so I knew she was listening, “I know that it has been an extremely overwhelming couple of weeks for you, and I know that you feel really lonely right now but I promise you that things are going to get easier. Thinking about daddy will bring you sadness, for probably the rest of your life but luckily we are human and we evolve, and we adapt. Right now the pain feels unbearable, it feels like you are in a lonely dark hole and you are trying to get out, to see the light...But you keep digging yourself farther and farther down confused as where to go. Maybe in a year or two you will realize that you don’t need to dig anymore and things will feel lighter, but still sad. Then a few years after that you might start slowly climbing up the wall, the light getting brighter guiding your path, and eventually Meryt, you’ll climb out of that hole and the pain will be a distant memory and the sadness will be a light reminder that you love him. You are so strong honey, you are not a mess, you are a feeling person in a messy, sometimes cruel world. I’m in the hole with you Meryt, I’m holding your hand. You are not alone.” I said softly to her, her crying lightened and now she was breathing slower.  
“You don’t need to come to school that day, okay? We can do some math at home and you can go skating.” I kissed her wet cheek.  
“Okay.” She sniffled. I stood up pulling Meryt up on my hip, her arms wrapped around my neck. She was almost getting too big to be carried like this. I reached my hand across to the worried looking teacher.  
“Nice to meet you Mr.Poje, I’m Emma.” I said sheepishly.  
“I’m sorry Emma, I...I didn’t know.” He shook my hand, his cheeks red.  
“My husband died last year. Please forgive Meryt for her upset. This has been an extremely difficult transition for her and she so badly would have loved to bring her dad to the picnic, he was really good at things like that.” I said, feeling exhausted.  
“It’s alright Emma, I’m sorry to have pulled you away from work, and I’m so, so sorry for your loss.” He said looking at my outfit.  
“No matter. Anyways, i think I’ll take Meryt home early today. Thank-you for sitting with her Mr. Poje.” I smiled warmly at him.  
“Please, call me Andrew. I hope to see you back here tomorrow Meryt.” He said kindly.  
“Thanks Mr.Poje.” Meryt squeaked over my shoulder. I turned and headed for the door.  
“Goodbye Emma.” I turned to look at Andrew when I left and he had a strangely intense look to him. It made me shutter.

…

After taking Meryt home from school I ran her a warm bath while I made lesson plans and read journal articles. After we tucked into homemade salmon burgers and then put on a movie. She has since calmed down and even offered information about her first half of class.  
“Did you make any friends?” I asked as she stared at Tangled.  
“I made one.” She said. “Her name is Hannah.”  
“Tell me about Hannah.” I prompted.  
“She’s really nice and really tall. She is a year older than me, so she’s not in my class. She said she has a dog named Sadie and a couple of fishes. She loves skating too and she takes skating lessons from Sarah at Ilderton Arena.” Meryt said, her eyes tired.  
“Oh.” I said raising my eyebrows.  
“Yeah, she is an individual skater. She loves doing toe loops.” Meryt said. I smiled.  
“That’s great sweetheart, I’m so happy you made a friend.” I smiled feeling really glad she wasn’t alone.  
“Patrick’s friends are all pretty nice too. They like sports, especially hockey. They tease him a bit about being an ice dancer but he doesn’t seem too bothered by it. He told everyone that I was his girlfriend and skating partner.” She said, a small smirk forming at the corners of her mouth.  
“Really? How do you feel about that?” I asked her, knowing she was okay with it.  
“I think I’m alright with it. I mean I am his partner...and I’m a girl, who is his friend. He isn’t wrong.” She justified.  
“He isn’t wrong.” I repeated  
“I really like Mr.Poje.” Meryt said.  
“Do you?” Meryt looked away from her movie and nodded at me.  
“He’s really kind and really funny. He told me I was really intelligent.” She smiled.  
“That was very kind of him.”  
“He reminded me a lot of daddy, I think that made me a little sad too.” She frowned.  
“Oh, do you think you’ll be alright returning to class tomorrow?” I asked.  
“Yeah, I’ll be alright. It was just once. He called me, ‘Golden Girl’ that’s what daddy called me. I think it was mostly because of my hair and because I got all the questions right on our worksheet but I kind of liked it...It just surprised me I guess.” Meryt looked back at the tv.  
“Okay sweetie, as long as you’re alright.” I sighed. She reached over and held my hand.  
“I’m really sorry about this morning mommy. I don’t hate you, I was just scared. We are in the hole together.” Meryt said. I felt my stomach lurch and tears spring to my eyes.  
“I know. I love you.” I blinked back the pain.  
“I love you, too.” She yawned, ready for bed.

 

Ilderton 2027- September- Ilderton

“It was the weirdest thing! She was totally fine and then she just burst into tears when Mr. Poje started talking about the picnic.” I said, telling my mom about my day while she dished lasagna onto my dinner plate.  
“Patty, your mom and I want to talk to you about Meryt. I think it might help you understand why she was so sad today.” My dad said, sitting across from me.  
“What’s wrong with her, dad?” I asked, maybe she had a brain tumor?  
“Nothing is wrong with her, kiddo. Meryt lost her daddy last year so sometimes when she misses him she gets sad.” My dad said seriously.  
“No she didn’t, he’s a police officer. He likes history and Egypt.” I was so confused, why did Meryt lie?  
“He was a police officer. Meryt’s dad died in a car crash while on patrol. It was a very sudden and sad death, that is why her dad has never come to the rink. Meryt is very, very sad and doesn’t like being reminded of her loss and she definitely doesn’t want pity, so don’t talk about this unless she brings it up first, okay?” My mom said sternly.  
“Okay mom.” I put my fork down. “Poor Meryt! She must be hurting so much. I can’t imagine losing you dad.”  
“Just thank your lucky stars you don’t have to kiddo.” My dad smiled sadly at me.  
“It was nice of Mr.Poje to comfort her.” I said thinking about how nice our new teacher was. Andrew was a friend of my dad’s. He was a former ice dancer but I wasn’t allowed to call him Andrew at school I had to call him Mr. Poje. I was only allowed to call him Andrew when he was at our house for dinner. That was my dads rule.  
“That was a very nice thing to do.” My mom said.  
“Meryt adores Mr.Poje. He’s so nice to her. I think he can see just how special she is.” I smiled thinking about how smart Meryt is.  
“You’re such a sweet boy, I’m glad you’re looking out for your friend.” My mom said softly.  
“I will always protect her, just like dad always protects you.” I smiled up at my mom, her green eyes sparkling. “I just wish that I could let Meryt know that I’m here for her.”  
“You could make her a really nice card, not saying anything about her dad, but just letting her know that you care about her.” My dad said.  
“Good idea! Will you help me?” I begged my dad with my eyes.  
“Sure kid.” He smiled weakly at my mom.  
“Maybe one day Mr.Poje will make Emma a card, too.” My parents didn’t say anything but they both looked at each other curiously.

 

...Emma…

Everyday had been much of the same. I would wake up, pull Meryt out of bed, drive her to school, drive to work, lecture, talk to students, drive back to school, pick up Meryt, drive to the rink, drop off Meryt, drive home, make dinner and lunches for the following day, clean the house, drive to the rink, pick up Meryt, drive home, eat dinner, help Meryt with homework, draw Meryt a bath, tuck her into bed, go to bed, repeat. I was putting more mileage on my car than we had driving from British Columbia.

Meryt’s first competition was next weekend and she needed permission to leave class early today for her costume fitting. I was the first parent in the courtyard and I walked up the steps to Mr. Poje’s class with Meryt following sleepily behind. I knocked on the door and I heard some shuffling of feet behind the door. He opened the door and looked really, really good in a blue button down shirt tucked into khakis. His dark hair was getting long and flopped naturally over. I thought for sure he’d make me swoon. I felt a wave of guilt pass over me looking at another man. It’s only been a year. I also felt really inadequate looking down at my black jeans and floral blouse.  
“Hi Emma, please come on in.” He smiled his charming, goofy smile. I followed him into his class, sitting on the desk Meryt usually sits in. She stood awkwardly beside me twisting nervously at one of her curls. Andrew looked way too relaxed leaning up against his own wooden desk, legs crossed at his ankles.  
“I just wanted to let you know that I will be pulling Meryt out of class early tomorrow. I’ll be picking her up right after lunch at 1pm.” I tried to remain calm and professional.  
“Okay, thanks for letting me know.” He said still smiling, why was he so calm? Shouldn’t he be concerned?  
“And I’ll be taking her out of class early on Friday’s regularly starting in October.” I looked him straight in the eye.  
“I know how it works Emma.” He said softly.  
“Know how what works?” I narrowed my eyes at him.  
“I was an Ice Dancer when I was younger, too. I used to train at the same rink as Scott in my earlier years and I competed against him in 2 Olympics.” He smirked at the shock on my face.  
“Oh my god! You’re Andrew Poje, Kaitlyn Weaver’s partner.” I said dropping my professionalism, “How did I not recognize you right away? I watched you guys at 2014 and 2018!” Meryt looked at me with embarrassment.  
“Kaitlyn’s ex-partner.” he corrected. “She went off to marry some New York Yankee and I came back here and decided to be an old, boring fourth grade teacher who occasionally goes to the rink on weekends to pretend I still know how to skate.” he laughed.  
“You’re not boring!” Meryt called out. Andrew smiled at her.  
“You must have chosen a very good post-Olympic career because my daughter adores you.” I said, now soft as butter.  
“I happen to think Meryt is quite wonderful herself, she’s a really good student and she tries very hard.” he complimented, Meryt’s face turned red.  
“It was really great talking to you Andrew, and thank-you for being so understanding about Meryt leaving school early.” I smiled sliding off the desk.  
“No problem, I’m a supporter of dreams.” He winked at Meryt.  
“Good-bye.” I said to him, feeling exposed under his intense stare, “Bye Mer, I’ll see you at 1, okay.”  
“Okay mom.” She waved.  
“Hey Emma!” Andrew called while I was half out the door, I turned back around, “Are you going to the BBQ at the Moir’s on Saturday evening? I know he invited half the town...I was just wondering if Tess may have asked you to come.” He said, he looked almost nervous.  
“Yeah, we are going.” I blushed.  
“I guess I’ll see you there.” He said and I left before he saw how giddy I was...I was still wearing my wedding ring.

This is bad, very bad.

 

Ilderton- 2027- Emma

I don’t know why I felt so nervous to be going to this BBQ at Alma Moir’s house, but I did. I had about 35 reasons why I should feel nervous, the questions, the accusations, the pity. It was not easy being a single mother and everyone felt like it was appropriate to offer their unsolicited opinion. I was slowly starting to get used to it. The mother’s at the skating club who openly talk about me and my daughter like we are a charity case.

Poor Emma  
Meryt must crave Scott’s attention because he’s like a father figure  
I wonder if that’s why he spends so much time on her, he feels obligated  
Emma must be so grateful she found people like Tessa and Scott

The funny thing was that what the other parents thought about me or my daughter wasn’t the source of my anxiety...It was what one particular person thought that had me sitting in front of a mirror curling my shoulder length blonde hair. I stayed laying awake all last night shaming myself and feeling guilty because for the first time in fifteen years I touched myself while thinking about another man, a man who wasn’t Connor. To add insult to injury when I woke up in the middle of the night I heard Meryt softly weeping while reading “Love You Forever’ by Robert Munsch. I didn’t make my presence known, I just watched her, her face soft and her tears thick as she sat in a ball with her book in her lap. She touched the page with her small hand and whispered softly,

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my daddy you’ll be.”

I felt my heart breaking into the smallest, unfixable pieces. I couldn’t think about Andrew again. No matter how intense his dark eyes and how goofy his smile. No matter how much his laugh reminds me of Connor’s, or how much he adores my daughter. It was wrong and I should be ashamed. I finished my last curl and sighed. Have I already lost? Because who am I curling my damn hair for anyways?

“Hey mommy, could you do something pretty with my hair too?” Meryt asked. I smiled patting the seat in front of the vanity.  
“What are you going to wear?” I asked her, combing my hands through her long curls.  
“My pale blue sundress.” She said excitedly. Although Meryt was shy, she was super excited for this barbeque.  
“How about we do half up, half down and I can tie it up with a pretty blue ribbon?” I asked, knowing that these moments don’t last forever.  
“That sounds so pretty!” She gushed. “Hey mom…”  
“Mmhmm.” I said starting to separate her hair.  
“Can I pick out your outfit too?” She asked. Meryt had a love for fashion, who she got that from? I don’t know.  
“Sure sweetie.” I said trusting that she won’t make me look any worse than the typical jeans and blouse I had picked out originally.

I finished tying the bow into Meryt’s hair and helping her zip up her dress. She started sorting through my closet looking at every article I had. I felt so close to her right now, just as two girls doing a typical mother and daughter thing. Meryt took her time but decided that I should wear this long blue maxi skirt with a simple white T-shirt and my jean jacket. I pulled on the outfit and looked into the mirror. Wow, I actually looked quite pretty.  
“There! Now we match!” Meryt said happily. It warmed my heart. Meryt skipped out of my bedroom looking like a little angel and I couldn’t help the small tear that slid down my cheek. My little girl is growing up so well, her daddy would be so proud.

…

We walked up Alma’s driveway, Meryt carrying a huge potato salad that I told her I would bring. The yard was already filled with people and there were kids running around with a soccer ball. I knocked on the door and Scott let me in giving me a quick hug before showing Meryt where she could set down the salad. I was overwhelmed with the turnout of this barbeque. It seemed like the entirety of Ilderton was here. Emma suddenly became very shy and hid behind my leg. Tessa waved from across the room and I smiled and waved back, she was preoccupied talking to Joe Moir. Suddenly Patrick came running full tilt through the door and stopped in front of my feet. How this boy looked so graceful on the ice was beyond me.

“Hello Emma, Hi Meryt.” He said smiling a huge cheshire cat smirk, his hands hiding something behind his back.  
“Hi Patty.” I smiled.  
“Hi Patrick.” Meryt squeaked nervously.  
“I made you a card Meryt.” He pulled a handmade card from behind his back, “I was supposed to give it to you after you were upset Monday but it took me a lot longer to make than I thought.”  
“Oh, thank-you.” Meryt blushed, her cheeks the colour of a ripened tomato. She took the card from patrick. The card was on blue construction paper and he made a yellow and purple zebra that was pasted on the front. It also looks like he drew flowers and butterflies with a felt pen. Meryt opened the card and there was a collection of animal stickers and big, messy block writing that said, To the best skating partner ever: I hope you feel better soon and if you need a friend I am always here. Love Patrick. I couldn’t help but smile at how sweet the card was. Meryt on the other hand looked so nervous that she might combust.  
“Well, do you like it?” He searched her face for validation.  
“Ye...Yeah I love it Patrick.” She stuttered nervously, now completely red.  
“Do you want to come into the yard and play? There are tons of kids from school here, Hannah is here.” Patrick said taking her hand in his. I could tell that Meryt didn’t know what to do with the hand that was now holding her own like a clamp. She looked at me for answers and I just smiled softly nodding my head for her to go. Reluctantly she let Patrick drag her outside.

Scott brought me over a beer and I accepted it gratefully. I forgot how awkward I was at social gatherings, Connor had always been my crutch. He then brought me over to where Tessa was now talking to Alma.  
“Hey Emma.” Tessa hugs me. “You look wonderful tonight.”  
“Thank-you. So do you.” But doesn’t she always.  
“This Scott’s mom, Alma. I don’t know if you two have officially met yet.” Alma looked a lot like her son in a much more feminine and motherly way.  
“Nice to finally meet you Mrs.Moir.” I shook her hand.  
“You as well Emma.” She hugged me. “Patrick has told me so much about Meryt, he is following in his father’s footsteps for sure. He’d do just about anything to hold that little girl’s hand.”  
“He’s such a sweetie. He gave her a card today, you should have seen her face. The poor girl was a tomato.” I said, chuckling.  
“He worked so hard on that card, he must have remade it twice.” Tessa added.  
“I’m so grateful for him. He has been such a kind friend to Meryt. It has made her transition so much easier. She counts down the hours every day until she can get on the ice and skate with him.” I said, sipping my beer.  
“You have to credit yourself too Emma, you have been so good to that little girl.” Tessa patted me on the shoulder.  
“It’s all I can do.” I smiled, “She’s my world.”  
“Speak of the devil.” Alma pats me on the shoulder. Meryt was approaching with a tall, lanky little girl with her dark hair in a ponytail and soft blue eyes. She looked oddly familiar with thick eyebrows and dimples in her cheeks. I couldn’t figure out where I knew her from, maybe the rink?  
“Mom, this is Hannah, my friend from school.” Meryt said, a lot shorter than her friend.  
“Hi Hannah, how are you?” I said gently to the girl.  
“I’m good thank-you. How are you? She asked politely.  
“I’m great, thank-you.” I smiled warmly at the two girls.  
“Have you seen my dad anywhere?” Hannah asked.  
“Who is your dad?” I asked, looking for someone who may resemble the girl.  
“Hannah is Andrew’s daughter,” Tessa said elaborating when I gave her a shocked look, “Meryt and Patrick’s teacher.”  
“Oh, uhm…” I had no idea he had a daughter, let alone Meryt’s friend.  
“I think I saw him helping Joe with the hamburgers.” Alma jumped in.  
“Okay, thanks Mrs.Moir.” Hannah said, her and Meryt skipped way towards the kitchen where Joe had been rolling out the hamburger meat.  
“So Andrew has a daughter?” I raised my eyebrows at Tessa.  
“Yeah, Hannah is 10 years old. She’s a super sweet girl. She looks a lot like him, eh?” Tessa smiled brightly.  
“Is he…”I looked around to make sure Andrew wasn’t close by.  
“Here? Yes.” Alma said.  
“No, Married?” I asked, blushing slightly. Alma glanced quickly over at Tessa.  
“No, he’s divorced.” Tessa offered. “Him and Kaitlyn divorced eight years ago. They are still on very good terms but Kaitlyn’s new husband is a baseball player so they move around a lot. Hannah lives with her dad full time and then flies to the states to be with her mom on holidays.”  
“Wow, that is quite the situation.” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say.  
“Yeah, if anyone could make it work it’s those two. I don’t really think they were supposed to be anything more than good friends.” Tessa concluded.  
“I suppose not.” I said, suddenly unable to look away from the kitchen door. Andrew had just walked out of the kitchen with one arm around his daughter and the other one resting gently on Meryt’s shoulder. He looked even more handsome in casual clothes. A plain black t-shirt and shorts. I didn’t notice I had been staring until he caught my eye. The three of them walked towards me and almost on que Tessa and Alma backed away abandoning me.

“It’s great to see you Emma.” he said smiling, this is why Hannah looked familiar.  
“It’s good to see you too.” I laughed awkwardly, Meryt smirked at me.  
“I see you’ve met my daughter, Hannah.” He ran his fingers through her hair.  
“I have, she’s lovely.” I said trying to keep my cool. “Meryt mentioned she skates? I haven’t seen you around the rink.”  
“Her grandma usually does drop off duty. I pick up.” He stated, his eyes shifted down to my neck and then back up to my eyes, not wandering too far.  
“A skater like her father, eh?” I smiled at Hannah, trying to escape his enrapturing gaze.  
“And my mom!” She beamed, “Dad taught me how to do twizzles but I much prefer jumps. I’ll leave the ice dancing to Meryt and Patrick. They’re unstoppable!”  
“You’re a beautiful skater, too.” Meryt returned the compliment, “You’re just as good at toe loops as the teenagers.”  
“Meryt and I have decided that we’d compete in the team event together at the Olympics.” Hannah stated confidently.  
“I look forward to it.” I said, Andrew stepped slightly closer to me.  
“Hannah-Banana, why don’t you and Meryt get washed up for dinner. I think Joe is just about done with those burgers.” Andrew said, Hannah took Meryt’s hand and the two girls went jogging through the large house in their delicate little sundresses. I was very aware that it was now just Andrew and I. His presence made me feel nervous and intoxicated.  
“You look very nice tonight, Emma.” He said, his voice light.  
“Thank-you.” I said ducking my head so he wouldn’t see my blush. “I’m not always running from point A to point B.”  
“The life of a single parent.” He sighed.  
“Want to trade tips?” I joked, It felt too soon but also oddly comfortable.  
“Unfortunately I just kind of wing it most of the time.” He shrugged.  
“Oh, thank god!” I sighed, leaning back against the wall, “I thought I was the only one.”  
“If you ever want to get together for coffee sometime, maybe when the girls are at the rink, I’d be happy to tell you about how awful of a dad I am.” He chuckled.  
“Oh Andrew.” I suddenly felt sick with guilt, “I don’t know…”  
“Emma, I’m not trying to overstep my boundaries here.” He stepped backwards, leaving me feeling exposed, “I just thought if you needed a friend at the rink who doesn’t live vicariously through their child or gossip about little girls, I’m looking to fill the spot.”  
“I would actually really appreciate that.” I stepped forward towards him. “If I have to overhear another loudmouth mother pitying me for having a brilliant little girl and a dead husband I might do something that will put me in jail.”  
“Allow me to be a deterrence.” He laughed. Just like Connor.

This was okay, right? I’m not doing anything wrong, right?


End file.
